Early Evening Nap

I just woke up from a nap. It was a strange nap.

I was visiting my stepdad (Alec Baldwin) and his estranged daughter in their new home. While I was there, I tried bonding with his daughter, but she wouldn’t get off her phone and didn’t want to the watch bowling championships on ESPN.

So, she ran upstairs, I went out to the garage to see off my family while they were on their to the theater.

Then, some punk who I thought we were related to start coming up and demands these random gifts (gloves, mittens, candles) in repossessions from some foreclosed estate. I didn’t take him seriously, so I started shoving him and told him to leave.

As soon as he was close enough in my face, I realized we weren’t related and I was in an extremely dangerous situation.

He started to taunt and intimidate me, but I found a bat that knocked him unconscious. We placed bricks on him to stop him and I grabbed some random tools and weaponry, in case he woke up.

Unfortunately, he woke up and was passed. I started to threatened him, but he didn’t seem worried. I start gathering my family to run away. As I was finishing up, my mom asked me, “Why are you panicking?” To which I said, “He had a six-pack and those are cinderblocks, they’re not a challenge for him.”

Just then, he comes dancing over with two blocks, one in his abdomen and the other in his arm.

“Oh shit.”

I pushed my mom out of the way and was brought down by the flung cinderblock. He was about to slash my head and fingers when I took an ax from my arsenal and chopped him in the ankle.

He fell hard and onto a bench. I seized the opportunity and hacked off his legs from the knee down, leaving him hopefully bleeding out as I ran away into my bowling alley driveway.

I woke up soon thereafter.

Legal disclaimer: Alec Baldwin is not my stepfather.


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About ryantpoole

Ryan T Poole is a former broadcast public relations specialist and morning show producer. His time is spent updating this blog, watching and analyzing TV and movies, reading, listening to music, taking care of his pets, and refocusing his energy into more productive outlets. He likes cold coffee, hot tea, long conversations, and obscure references.

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