190 to the 219 and Forward.
You ever think about packing up and leaving?
Just take your favorite belongings, throw them in about three suitcases/bags, load up your car and just leave. You keep your cell phone full charged in case you need it and keep plenty of water bottles ready. You sleep in your car, use public bathrooms to wash up, and drive without a destination. It sounds heavenly.
You leave to a city where you’ve never been before and you get to experience it alone. I can’t stress that enough that it has to be an unknown city to you. You can’t know anything about the city other than its name and state and maybe a few historical facts about it. You show up on the outskirts, park your car and walk around the streets discovering every little fascinating nook. You wander and you get to simply enjoy its splendor.
I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately, just wandering around. I feel like I’ve been wandering for quite some time now, but it has never taken heed until recently and the prospects of just wandering seem more and more viable each passing day. The weird thing is that I don’t think anyone could or would stop me. However, the more I think about it, the more likely I am to not do it and just let me imagination keep guessing on how things would play out in this alternate reality where I’m a drifter with infinite resources. Or I at least have a sweeter beard than I have right now. Or it’s never above 70 degrees.
I just have no idea what to do anymore. Hell, I’m having a hard time figuring out how to end this post.
This is the first time in a very long time that every door is open for me, but instead of walking through one, I’ve ordered some Chinese food, sat down on the floor and continued to read “Perks of Being Wallflower.”
I’m not confused and I’m not lost; I know what I want to do, but finding the method and means of doing it is a completely different story. Actually, finding the proper motivation is more accurate. Means and methods can come later, motivation is key right now. That, and getting back on a semi-normal sleep schedule. That might more than anything else right now. I wonder how long I can stay up before I start hallucinating dancing trees again.