ER

I just woke up from the most horrifying dream I’ve had in several months.

In the dream, my wife (picture Melissa Rauch, but slightly taller with darker hair) and I were roaming the city (a combination of Chicago and Buffalo) getting b-roll for a video project for a friend of ours who was doing a Macklemore “Same Love” style music video. We arrive a business park and parked our Ford 500 on the adjacent train tracks where the trains would come up close, but not go beyond the platform.

There was an incoming group of people, a massive amount coming from the local rally. I’m not sure what the rally was for, but we just needed to get good crowd shots. We didn’t wait long because soon we were capturing enough b-roll to last us several videos.

Soon after the passengers were switching train lines, we approached a couple groups to get some staged shots. They were more than happy to provide us with the footage. We were getting a lesbian couple when I noticed a black Mercedes come from the depths of the underground train line.

I panicked, grabbed my wife and dived into the 500. In my haste I accidentally started to roll the car background before starting the engine. I managed to start it while rolling and simultaneously started the chainsaw defense mechanism I (apparently) had installed years ago. This chainsaw defense was embedded in the car, circling the body from the Ford badge on the front to the trunk on both sides.

I kept my window down just in case we needed to escape or shout coordinates to the train passengers. (Yeah, no idea on that one.) As we took off, the chainsaw slashed through the gravel of the train tracks sending bits all around us.

As we climbed the hill I prematurely banked the car right causing us to lose momentum and temporarily become sideways on our left side.

I stopped us from fully flipping over by using my massive hand strength and yelled to my wife to get out and leave, which she refused and told me to leave. Neither of us did.

After a few intense seconds I got the car upright and peeled out escaping the Mercedes. As I turned my back to check on our pursuers, the back of my right somehow got caught on the edge of the chainsaw.

The initial shock forced me to slam on the breaks. I looked at my horror, terrified about I might see. First there was nothing. My wife screamed “What’s wrong?!” I looked down again and two massive red cuts had developed below my index finger’s knuckle about two inches long and a few centimeters wide. There were some minor cuts just below my thumb knuckle.

It started to throb and yelled out to my wife to switch places and take me to the hospital. It was at this point I was coming out of my REM cycles and was frantically checking my hand with cuts and blood. It took about three times, but I woke to my normal hand. No scars, no scrapes, no blood.

I haven’t woken up screaming like that in a while, let alone feel the simulated pain that I was experiencing in my dream state. I really was scared for my life that I was going to need to stitches along the back of my hand. Thank god I didn’t.

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About ryantpoole

Ryan T Poole is a former broadcast public relations specialist and morning show producer. His time is spent updating this blog, watching and analyzing TV and movies, reading, listening to music, taking care of his pets, and refocusing his energy into more productive outlets. He likes cold coffee, hot tea, long conversations, and obscure references.

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