What I’ve Learned from My Depression (Part Six)
However, People Do Want What’s Best For You
If there’s one feeling I know better than anything else in the world, it’s isolation. As I mentioned in other posts, I’m really good at it, but that’s not a skill I’m proud of. I think maybe I was Bruce Banner in another life, but I digress from the point. I forged a lot of good online friendships with a fair share of people and while they had the same derivative response of “don’t worry, it gets better” (the one thing you don’t say to someone with depression) I could tell that they cared and really wanted me to get better for myself. However, do the overwhelming nature of my anxiety billowing down, I wasn’t able to get myself to “normal” for months. That’s the sad reality of when you’re by yourself yet surround by people: they all want what’s best for you, but you can’t see that in the mist of your depression.
Don’t Hold Out
Even though she said “I’m not opposed to reconnecting, but it won’t be for a while” the phrase “a while” is incredibly convoluted and vague. It’s almost impossible to determine what a while really is. In my old business, “a while” could range from a few minutes to a few days to a few weeks. And when does it become appropriate to restart this talk? After the holidays or before you get those new puppies? When? You have to decide if that’s a talk you want to have and if it’s something you want to pursue. Even though I wanted to talk to her every day, I never found a good enough reason to start a conversation or find one that would make me seem like I was doing better when I wasn’t. I didn’t need to be “that” guy trying to make things happen when they weren’t going to be any different from the last time around. No one needs that chaos in their life.
Clichés Are There For A Reason
There are three things I hate: terrorists, clichés and gluten free bread in that order. Terrorists for obvious reasons, gluten free bread is terrible and crumbly, and clichés just rehash the same one line and message multiple times. However, I learned during my tenure in the deep dark cavern of depression that clichés as inspirational messages and typographical posters do help the healing process. Even simple messages and quotes, no matter how often you see or hear them, can help you feel better about your situation. I didn’t have any particular quote or passage that I loved reading when I was feeling particularly vulnerable, but going through Tumblr tags and seeing what others had posted or reblogged helped ease that grief a bit. It wasn’t a lot, but it was enough to see me through to the next day.